Live on purpose

  Outlove One Another I am the lucky recipient of being born into a family who tries to outlove one another. Being in social work for almost 20 years, I have seen many different families and many different family dynamics. Most dysfunctional in one way or another, otherwise, they probably wouldn’t have had a social worker involved. I have seen families who try to outdo one another, outspend one another, outsmart one another, outperform one another, even outlive one another (think fist fights at the family reunion). Only occasionally did I find one who tried to outlove one another. And I am not saying my family, or these few families I ran across, are perfect. In fact, far from it, which is why so much love was/is needed. Love covers a multitude of sins, right? I didn’t deserve my family, or earn my entry, or even pick them. But, man oh man, do I have a heart full of gratitude that I got them. I am sure a lot of you feel the same about your family. And I am also sure that a lot ...

  The 5 Stages of  Grief   Training I ponder all sorts of things while running, partly to solve problems, make decisions, or play out conversations in my head, but mostly to distract myself from the terribleness of running. I've still been thinking about grief this week, reading through and thinking about your all's comments. I am just over halfway through an 8-week training for a half I am running at the end of October. During one of my morning runs last week, just for a little fun and to distract myself from my misery, I started comparing the stages of a training cycle to the 5 Stages of Grief. I have always had a love/hate relationship with running. In fact, I have developed this "running self" that I frequently have conversations with as if she is a whole other entity from me. "Oh, you're tired and thinking of cutting this run short? Fine. Go ahead. Why don't you go on home and sit on the couch and eat bags of Cheetos, you lazy bum?" That's ...

  Sitting With Grief I am in no way qualified to write a blog about grief. I’ll start there. I do not have past trauma or abuse, no serious health concerns or conditions, and haven’t lost many loved ones. Yet. But it’s one of my worst fears. I fear grief that feels like it will be fatal. I fear waking that next morning, and every morning after, without that person. Or with that diagnosis. Or reliving that event. Many of you know exactly what that grief feels like, and could write a book, much less a blog. I started thinking about this topic a while back, when I ran across this TED Talk by Nora McIrnery, http://t.ted.com/6UEKtAt . It’s worth 14 minutes of your life, but the gist is that she says we don’t “move on” from grief, we move forward with it. And how grief doesn’t happen in a vacuum, but is “multi-tasking,” and mixed with so many other emotions, often in the same day, even in the same breath. She says sometimes grief feels like it could literally be fatal, and that what peo...